


Difficult Decisions and Complicated Conclusions

by CocoButterCurlz



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Depression, Drinking, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Forgiveness, Healing, Love, Self-Acceptance, Will differ from canon, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-07 12:33:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10360596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CocoButterCurlz/pseuds/CocoButterCurlz
Summary: Post-curse, post-Neverland. Emma and Regina have been together since Emma and Henry's return from New York. Daniel is back, Regina has a decision to make. Emma has told Regina she will understand whatever she decides to do and wants her to make the choice that is best for her. But how you expect someone to choose you over their True Love and how do you go about picking up the pieces if they don't?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Difficult Decisions](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/277188) by RobynPDB92. 



> Hey Shippers, so this is my first fanfic. I read "Difficult Decisions" by RobynPDB92, and really vibed with the concept of the story. I really thought a lot about the how complicated things could be if Daniel happened to come back and how difficult it would be for Regina . Anyway please read his story, it's about 2 chapters and unfortunately it hasn't been continued but it would give you a good basis of where I'll be going.
> 
> Disclaimer:  
> Credit to RobynPDB92 for inspiration for this story. Kinda piggy-backed off of him and I hope I do him some justice.  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10873102/2/Difficult-decisions
> 
> Also I do not own any characters OUAT characters. This work is pure fiction and just done out of my love for swan queen. Happy reading and looking forward to your thoughts.

_Morning_

 

 

 

_Regina stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but a small, white towel bunched around her chest and a pair of deep pink silk panties. She glances up whilst towelling off her hair and notices Emma staring at her from her seat on the edge of their bed. Regina lets out a small, deep, knowing chuckle and a shy grin embraces her face as she realised the source of Emma's distraction, she was wearing Emma's favourites.._

 

_It had been almost 2 weeks since Daniel's return and out of respect for Regina and the decision she would need to make, Emma hadn't even tried to make any moves on her since his arrival. The couple both agreed that in order for Regina to make a clear and honest decision that she wouldn't regret, they would have to pull back slightly and allow some breathing room. So apart from a few short, tender kisses and lingering touches so that Regina would know that Emma still loved her and she wasn't angry, she kept her distance. Nonetheless, the absence of Regina was killing Emma, and although she was trying to do the right thing, the pain that ached within her made her want every minute to completely envelop the slightly smaller brunette and lay claim to what had for so long been hers. Every night now as they went to bed, Emma longed to move closer and snuggle her beautiful girlfriend into the perfect, protective embrace they had grown into, and whilst she lay a few feet away, both women knowing the space was necessary, Emma wondered if perhaps sleeping in the guest room would have actually been easier. Still, Regina was her priority, and she didn't want her to feel any more confused or distressed than she already knew she was, though she was hiding it well. No matter what Emma told herself or how she tried to protect her own heart from hurting, she still couldn't deny that thought that she was sharing even a part of her girlfriend, that someday another pair of hands might hold her steady at night, absolutely killed her._

 

_It also was not lost on Emma that Regina had not made any advances on her in the past two weeks either.. She had secretly hoped that Regina wouldn't want her to step back.. A selfish part of Emma hoped for Regina to be more torn, to ache for Emma like she did for her, not to be so calm and methodical about the whole process. Inside, Emma was dying._

 

_When Regina's gaze met Emma's as she walked from the ensuite bathroom, she smiled knowingly and turned back into the bathroom to dress herself. Emma's gaze lingered as she watched Regina shut the door behind her. She picked up her keys and jacket, pausing slightly before leaving the room to go straight to work, biting her lip painfully with a tear in her eye and denying herself the words she wanted to say.. "I love you"._

 

 

 

 

 

_Afternoon_

 

 

 

_Emma's Wednesday station meetings were a far cry from those she had experienced in the mayor's office. They were relaxed, informal and involved a reasonable amount of baked goods, generously provided by Granny's. It would seem that letting Ruby hang around the station a few days a week and involving her in a few interesting cases was working to the advantage of all the staff at Storybrooke PD. Today however, the normal casual banter was cut early by a call reporting a few teenagers skipping school and running rampant with eggs and firecrackers at the edge of town. After dispatching two of her crew to deal with the call, Emma decided she didn't really need to tag along and headed home for a rare afternoon off._

 

_She pulled out of the station in her yellow bug after swooping over the keys for her patrol car and was thinking about going to pick up henry from school early and maybe taking him for ice cream. She was halfway to the school before she saw signs for the school fair, and rolled her eyes as she remembered Henry was staying late for the event and going home with a friend to a birthday sleepover. She indicated quickly to correct her course towards home and turned down main street to meet a red light, her face froze in place as she saw a tall, built figure leaving the doors of Granny's B &B to cross the road.. Daniel. She had seen him a few times since he arrived back, throwing him a civil wave or smile. She certainly didn't want to make anything harder for Regina than it already was, and truth be told the man had done nothing wrong. Emma's head started to hurt when she began to do the math on how long it would have been since his romance with Regina, for him to still be searching for her after all this time made her think that he was probably a good guy. A great guy even.. She shuddered. As he crossed the road in front of her bug, he chanced a nervous glance into the car, holding her gaze for a couple of seconds before turning away and not looking back, Emma couldn't help but feel a little unsettled by the unfamiliar gesture from the usually annoyingly civil and chivalrous man but she soon shook the feeling, telling herself that she felt like this every time any part of Daniel and Regina's past or present crept into the front of her mind. She had been so startled that she barely noticed the light turning green until Leroy honked from behind in his pickup truck, she flashed her hazard lights in apology at the disgruntled face she saw in the rear-view mirror and took the next turn down Mifflin to the home the mayor and her had been sharing for the past 8 months, slowly coming back to normality._

 

_As Emma put her keys in the door and began to unlock it, she heard familiar movement inside the house and headed up the stairs to find Regina putting away some laundry in their bedroom closet, the curtains still drawn from that morning and the bedroom lay in darkness apart from a few thin rays of light that were able to break through._

 

_"Hey" Regina breathed as she turned to see Emma standing a few metres away at the door. The tension from that same morning seemed to return to the air almost immediately, words unsaid, actions left unexplained._

 

_"Hi" Emma replied softly, tilting her head slightly against the doorframe, letting her guard down against her better judgement. "Looks like we both decided to take the afternoon off today.."_

 

_"Yes" Regina cleared her throat as she began to speak, "It would seem so."_

 

_Emma didn't know if it was because the longing was so evident on her own face or if the brunette needed it too, but Regina stepped slowly forward, placing her hands gently on Emma's arms. After weeks with almost no intimacy between them and after the way Regina shielded herself from Emma that morning, she was confused by the gesture, but so desperate to be close to the woman she loved that she could do nothing but give in completely, embracing her into a slow, deep passionate kiss whilst carefully lifting her and moving towards their bed. As Regina wrapped her legs around Emma's waist, she almost let a small tear slip down her cheeks. Not wanting to alarm Regina, she held it back as the two began to undress eachother in a way that had become so familiar. Emma let go of the breath she didn't know she had been holding for so long, and for a moment, she thought she was home. That everything was going back to normal._

 

_Emma looked up and stared at Regina's beauty through the darkness. Dark, shoulder-length, straight silky hair hung delicately around Regina's face shielding her eyes from Emma as she gently moved the brunette's underwear down her legs until they hung on Regina's left ankle at her foot, now firmly planted on the sheets as she moved to lie back on the bed._

 

_Emma's eyes moved down past Regina's waist as the woman above her began to breathe deeply in anticipation and as she slowly began to trace her tongue up a twitching thigh towards Regina's sex, almost invisible in the darkness, she could smell the distinct scent of Regina's wetness. She thought little of this even though she was still far from Regina's centre, but her confusion began when she started to taste what she recognised as Regina's arousal on a perfectly dry leg as she moved up her thigh, then stopped dead as she tasted something else. A small trace of blood. Dried blood._

 

_Regina moved above her to prop herself up on her elbows, sensing that something was off, and when she saw Emma's eyes adjust to the lack of light and stare where her tongue had been mere seconds before, her heart sank as she lay back and covered her eyes with her hands._

 

_"Regina?" Emma started, unable to take her eyes from the faint blood markings she could now notice around Regina's centre, enough for Emma to see but perhaps not enough for Regina to have known it was there._

 

_It was then that Emma started to put the pieces together. Her eyes had now adjusted to the lighting of the room and she moved her gaze over to the underwear still hooked over Regina's foot. She touched them, examining them more closely than before.. Silk as expected, but black. Unmistakably. Black with a fine lace trim gracing the upper edges, and most certainly not the underwear she had been admiring that morning before she left for work._

 

_Dizzy with realisation , she scrambled to her feet leaving Regina lying on the bed in a nauseating panic and watching the horror of the situation unfold. Emma staggered over towards the laundry basket and did not have to look far for what she had suspected but was praying in her head wasn't true.. The pair of silky, dark pink underwear that she had eyed on her beautiful girlfriend that morning, draped over the basket edge.. as she lifted them her breath caught in her throat and tears stung her eyes, they were still soaked with the wetness that Emma had no doubt just sensed on Regina's thighs. She didn't know if she was more disturbed by the fact that this had clearly happened merely hours ago, or by the fact that Regina hadn't even bothered to shower after, and had carelessly thrown her underwear still covered in the arousal that another person had brought her, into their shared laundry basket._

 

_Emma turned straight back to Regina, now sitting up on the bed. She could see her lips beginning to tremble though her guilt even from metres away._

 

_Emma had to take another staggered breath in order to form words. "Daniel. You were.."_

 

_"I'm sorry Emma.." Regina cut her off in a sob, "It just.."_

 

_Before Regina was able to continue, Emma had started again on her own train of thought, one which wasn't even fully processing yet that her love had been with someone else, "He hurt you?! The blood," She moved at the foot of the bed once more and Regina closed her legs, suddenly embarrassed.._

 

_"He.. he didn't hurt me.."_

 

_"Well the blood says otherwise!" Emma found herself screaming, her brain not working quickly enough to work out exactly what was going on._

 

_"Its just.. I know we…. He's a man.." She said sheepishly, "..and it's been a long time since.. " Emma gasped and Regina continued to mumble as she started to sob but those last few sentences allowed the gravity of the situation to hit Emma, and she almost doubled over before she ran to the en-suite bathroom to lose the entire contents of her stomach. When she had stopped retching, she could still hear Regina's faint cries, curled up in a ball on their bed, sobbing into the sheets._

 

_Emma stood and took a few breaths to gather her resolve. She cleaned herself up and turned on the shower before she re-entered the bedroom, walking over to gather her clothes and a fresh pair of underwear from the drawer. She got changed inside of the walk in closet before returning to the room and throwing a fresh towel at Regina who was now standing nervously on the other side of the room with a blanket held up along her torso._

 

_"Go and clean yourself up." Emma's voice was cold and Regina realised that the running shower was for her. As Emma grabbed her keys and a bag of clothes that Regina hadn't even noticed she had packed, Regina stood shaking, unable to move as Emma closed the door of their room sharply behind her. Seconds later, she heard the firm closure of her front door. Their front door. She moved across the room and sunk down against the end of their wooden bedframe, losing control of her shaking legs. Her head landed on her knees as she cried, the steam of the shower now starting to move into the room. For the first time in the past two weeks, Regina Mills realised that she really did not know what to do, and for the first time in over 8 months, she felt truly alone._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_——————-_

 

_Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck…fuck._

 

 

That’s all Emma’s mind could conceive at the moment. Her mind wasn’t capable of forming a transient thought; fight or flight mode was active. And flight was a familiar friend.

 

 

She opened the door to the bug, threw her bad into the passenger seat, turned the key in the ignition, jammed the clutch and ground on the acceleration. The car peeled off of Mifflin St.

 

 

Emma couldn’t make it to the Charmings'. The Charming residence equals questions; her mother, Snow, with her pitying eyes and her father, David, who sees so much without anything being said. Questions that can’t be answered because this is an inconceivable situation.

 

 

A situation she doesn’t have words for, because her mind can’t process it right now. Her mind is focusing up building up the walls, her mental walls that she so carefully deconstructed over the last 3 years. Minutes to build up the protection she relied on for her first 28. 

 

 

_Breathe and build._ _Breathe and build._

 

 

No thinking required; the beauty of emotional autopilot. Where she’s going has taken a backseat to the construction of wall. Peering behind that wall would be emotional suicide. If she sees what’s beyond the wall, it’s all over…she won’t recover.

 

 

_Breathe and build._

 

 

With the town gearing up for the school fair no one pays much attention to the yellow bug speeding through main street. Anyone who knows Emma, knows the Sheriff never did particularly adhere to the vehicular laws of the town. 

 

Autopilot was taking her to the town line. Flight was chanting along her walls. Rallying the forces to run. Gathering the troops and the resources on hand. The seduction of cutting all ties, freeing her self and hunkering down behind her walls; once fully constructed, breaching was impossible. Oh, the delicious caress of isolation.

 

She had everything she needed. 

 

_Car? Check._

 

_Phone? Not required, but check._

 

_Money? Hadn’t had to think much about, but the nest egg was there._

 

_Her job? Fuck it._

 

_The town? Fuck em._

 

_Family? Snow, David, Neal, Re…Henry._

 

_But Henry…_

 

_But Henry._

 

That promise to never leave him. Since Neverland, she has held true to it. It was enough to quiet the battle cry. Enough to calm the rallying of the troops; refocus them. Henry.

 

_Breath and build._

 

 

She turned off the highway, onto the forest path leading into the eastern woods. She hadn’t traveled this path in over a year. Not since needing those times of isolation to calm, the storm of emotions of making this magical town her and Henry’s home. Finally letting go of New York. Settling into her roles of Savior, Protector, Sheriff, Daughter, Big Sister, Mother, Co-parent and Lover.

 

 

_Lover. Fuck._

 

 

Pulling off to the side she walks off the path, she parks and gets out of the car. Down the embankment, there’s a woodcutter’s station. It was Graham’s hidden treasure, one of the first things he showed her when she was hired as deputy. It was frowned upon to drink on the job, but the benefit of being the only Sheriff and Deputy in a small town, is that no one is really there to say much if you're taking a nip during a particularly long night shift.

 

She steps into the station and pulls the bottle of Johnny Walker from behind the wood pile. She always keeps one in stock, as a small nod to Graham. It’s September, and the temp is still pretty warm at 5pm. The covering of the trees this far in the woods, prevents the sun from shining too brightly over the curve of the embankment, resulting in a shadow cast over the station. This leads to a bottle slightly cool to the touch.

 

Thank God for small blessings on extremely shitty days.

 

She sits up against the stump they use to cut wood. No point in removing the axe from the stump, she has no plans other than getting drunk off her ass. She can’t get drunk enough to forget, but she can delay her minds ability to fully comprehend. Keep herself on autopilot for preferably a few more days. 

 

The first swig went down hard. Hard enough to cause tears to bubble at the corner of her eyes. The second went down with a burn, all too familiar. 

 

Sweet agony.

 

She’d take the burn any day compared to the pressure that was starting to building in her chest. She hadn’t felt that tinge of the pain that was gathering below depths since the day the curse broke and everything changed forever. She wouldn’t be able to hold it back forever. The deconstruction of her walls allowed for others to see her demons and help silence the mutterings that use to color her daily thoughts and interactions with the world. But now there was fresh blood in the water and a horde was closing ranks with a vengeance. The walls were being built. She’d be protected from the outside but she’d be trapped with them.

 

Better the demons you know, than the demons you don’t. Or something like that.

 

 

Emma takes another long swig.

 

 

They were going to rip her apart.

 

 

_Fuck._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina realizes what she had just done.

 

The temperature of the water had long since cooled, before Regina lifted herself off of the floor. It’s been a long time since she shed tears with such abandon. What had she done? She needed to find Emma, to explain, to convince her that it was a mistake; that it was never supposed to happen.

 

 

She made her way to the nightstand and grabbed her phone. She dialed Emma. It rang and rang without her picking up. She dialed again. Straight to voicemail.

 

She dialed again. Straight to voicemail.

 

She repeated this process again, it was the only thing she could control right now. Everything else had spiraled out of control.

 

What would Emma do? The blond was impulsive when she was in turmoil. Would she run?Would she confront Daniel?

 

_Daniel._

 

Would she run? No. She promised Henry, she wouldn’t leave.

 

_Henry._ What would she tell Henry, when he came home to find his other mother gone? Sitting on her bed, she pinched her brow as she felt the beginnings of a migraine. How had it come to this?

 

 

Looking back…

 

 

_She just wanted to show Daniel her home. Up to this point they would meet at Granny’s or go for walks in the park or rides at the stables. It wasn’t a hidden affair. By now everyone knew who he was and especially who he was to her. There was no judgement, they were reconnecting after the 30+ years they spent apart. It was still unknown how Zelena’s curse was able to reset things in the Enchanted Forest as well, but it didn’t matter. Daniel was alive and with her._

 

 

 

 

_They shared their first kiss only about 3 days ago at the stables, following a picnic in the clearing along the northern edge of the stable grounds. There was a large oak tree there, that was perfect for a picnic.The day was beautiful and they were reminiscing over the times when they were younger and Daniel was telling her of what he had been doing up until Hook brought him back. Then the sun glinted off Daniel’s brunette hair at just the right angle and it just reminded Regina of how he had kissed her for the first time under he apple tree at her childhood home. She leaned in and Daniel followed suit._

 

 

_The kiss was as gentle and innocent as she remembered. Daniel ever the gentleman slid his hand up to her shoulder, as he leaned in to deepen the kiss. He ended before it could go further, and Regina lost in the magic of the kiss, turned to rest again his chest. Caught in the feeling of being held in his arms once again. The just stayed there resting against the trunk of the trees. Neither able to say anything, both caught in the rapture of rediscovering what they had long thought been lost._

 

 

_Regina hadn’t come down from clouds until parked in her driveway after leaving Daniel at Granny’s. As she sat in the car, she mentally prepared herself for the rest of her evening. Henry would be home soon with Emma. She didn’t have to work the night shift every three weeks since they’d hired two new deputies last week. She would usually pick him up from the Charming’s after getting off at 5p and they be home by 6:30p for dinner. The tension between she and Emma was slowly getting to her. They had talked about the space that was needed._

 

 

 

_Other than the tender kisses and lingering touches, the physical interactions between she and Emma had dwindled down considerably. She couldn’t handle reconnecting with Daniel and handling her relationship with Emma, when Emma still looked at her like she was the moon and the stars. They didn’t even say “I love you” anymore, when it was spoken daily, usually after passionate kisses and morning embraces. She could tell Emma wanted more. Christ, they were still sleeping in the same bed. It made her feel guilty and pressured. She contemplated asking her to sleep in the guest room, but that just seemed cruel. They had been sharing a bed fore 8 months, since she’d asked her to move in. Now they just slept on opposite sides of the bed, a chasm between them that Regina wouldn't breach. After all this time, not sleeping in Emma’s embrace felt foreign._

 

 

_Emma never asked about her time with Daniel and Regina never volunteered info. It just had become something unspoken. It left everything between them heavy and strained._

 

 

_It was draining._

 

 

_She just wanted a moment in her home that wasn’t stressful. It’s why she invited Daniel today. She thought Emma would go to the fair with Henry. She wanted Daniel to see what she had done for herself here. Her home, where Henry grew up. It was supposed to be a brunch. She picked him up from Granny’s on her way home from the market. She made salmon and and spinach omelets, a garden said with a quick raspberry balsamic reduction and some mimosas. Just something quick and light. They had shared a few mimosas and Daniel helped her clean the kitchen and it just so nice to not be wound up so tight in her home._

 

 

_When he wrapped his arms around her as she dried the lasts of the glasses, she just allowed herself to rest again his chest. He leaned over to smell her hair and then placed a small kiss on her neck. That simple kiss sparked the flame of desire that she had purposefully been extinguishing the last two weeks. She wouldn’t touch Emma and two weeks of repressing the normally amorous portion of herself had her reeling at the the moment. She spun around in Daniel’s arms and grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him to her for a kiss. His kisses were as gentle as always, but that’s not what she wanted at the moment. She wanted something primal and frenzied to break the tension that had taken resident in her life for the last two weeks. She_

 

 

_She needed this moment to escape. Escape into Daniel, because he was her escape for so long, so long ago before he was ripped from her. So she gave over to passion and let rational thought slip out the window. So she deepened the kiss, begging permission from Daniel by swiping her tongue against his lower lip. Once he opened up to her, she felt his resolve break. He lifted her up in his arms and she felt the heat awaken in her core. Wrapping her legs around his waist they made their way to her bedroom, her body remembering what her mind refused to think about. The coupling was intense and rough and everything Regina wanted in that moment. Daniel wanted undress her, but she just waved his hand away. Removing her underwear and his pants with a wave of her hand. She pulled him on top of her and opened up to him. He entered her without further pretense. The initial has he drove into her, gave her something else to focus on. She was consumed in the pain and passion of it all; Daniel against her, of being filled, his breathe and sweat along her neck. It wasn’t until he pulled out at the last minute and spilled himself on her sheets that the reality of what she had just done and where she had done it hit her._

 

_Oh God. Oh God, Oh God._

 

_It was everything she could do, not to jump out of bed and run to the bath. She needed to clean herself up a bit before she dealt with the mess she just created for herself. She quickly urinated and cleaned herself with the feminine wipes they kept next to the toiled._

 

_What she and Emma kept next to the toilet, in their bathroom, in their bedroom._

 

_She just fucked Daniel in their bed. Oh God._

 

_She needed to figure out what she was going to do. She grabbed her robe from behind the bathroom door and put it on to face Daniel for the moment._

 

_“Hey”._

 

 

_“Regina, I apologize. My behavior was…” He seemed to not even be able to utter the words as a mask of utter embarrassment began to pass over his face. Regina couldn’t help but smirk a little at his sense of chivalry, taking the blame when they both knew she was the aggressor. But she couldn’t worry about his feelings right now. Not when she was feeling as if her world was on the precipice of shrinking in on itself._

 

_She brought him into their home. Her two lives were on a course to collide with disastrous results if she didn’t figure out how to fix this. She set this course when she allowed the threshold to be breached._

 

_“Daniel I think you need to go. I just need to figure a couple things out. Because Emma,”_

 

_“No, no, of course. Yeah, I’ll just go.” He interrupted. “We will talk soon.” Grabbing his pants off the chair Regina sent them to, he quickly slipped them and grabbed his shoes as he began the descent downstairs. Regina just barely registered the front door closing before she dropped onto her bed._

 

_She never loses control like this. A Queen doesn’t have the luxury of losing control. A Queen doesn’t have the luxury of emotions. A Queen can’t be weak. And God dammit she was weak. Guilt, anger, and shame were starting to echo in her head. She remembered the days when those emotions were foreign concepts._

 

_In the words of her mother ‘A Queen takes what she wants and damn the consequences. And if they don’t like it, off with their heads, or rather out with their hearts.’_

 

_Cora always did have a way with words._

 

_She couldn’t let Emma find out. She could take care of this before she ever knew and Regina would find a way to deal with her emotions. She born, raised and beaten to handle situations like these. She was a Queen and is a Queen._

 

_First thing was to take care of these sheets. A reminder of her betrayal. She grabbed them off the bed and brought them directly to be washed. Grabbing the laundry to be folded out of the dryer, she brought them upstairs with her to be folded. Glad for something tangible to do with her hands. Placing the clothes basket on the floor. She grabbed her pink silk panties off the floor and threw them into the dirty laundry basket in the bathroom. After throwing on the first pair of underwear she saw in the laundry basket, she went to the hallway closet to grab a new set of sheets to set the bed._

 

_She had just finished placing the folded clothing in her closet when she felt her eyes on her. She could always feel when Emma was watching her. Normally the intensity of her gaze, would guarantee butterflies in her stomach and a clenching much lower._

 

_Maybe it was the guilt or the thought that she could truly lose the woman she had come to love over these last years, Regina just wanted to get lost in the love and longing evident in Emma’s eyes. She slowly walked into Emma’s embrace and let herself get swept up in the passion of that is Emma._

 

_She would always call Emma her “idiot” and deride her for clumsiness, but there she possessed an intelligence and attention to detail that was unparalleled. Could be attributed to her past as a runaway foster kid, booster or bounty hunter; Regina forgot in that moment and everything burned._

 

 

As she kept dialing Emma, she kept replaying their final moments together; the cold sharpness of Emma’s voice and the look of abject despair in her eyes when she realized what had occurred. Just like always she found a way to destroy what had been one of the best things that ever happened to her. Love was a disease, it had to be cut out or it would destroy you. 

 

Mother would be proud.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry for the delay but you know how work, school, family, pretty much how life gets. Umm Killian Jones will be in this story but he does not play a romantic part. The goal is SQ endgame but then again it may not happen, I'd like the emotions to be as close to reality as possible and this is some pretty intense stuff but I'm hopeful for the future. Please bear with me and let's keep the story going.
> 
> Thanx

**Roxanne, you don’t have to put on that…red light,**

  **Those days are ovvaaaaa, you don’t have to sell your body to the night**

  **Roxxxxaaannnnneeeee, you don’t have to…**

 

 

 

Emma took another long swig from the bottle of Johnny W. that had been her consistent companion over the last few hours. In reality, it was probably the main thing keeping her from freezing her ass off out here.

 

She had been walking for probably 40 min at this point and judging by the old tire laying cast off on the side of the road, she was a little over two miles into her three mile hike back into town.

 

 

 

And based on that fact it was cold as fuck and dark as shit out at the moment, she was guessing it was probably after midnight too. Emma had for all intent and purpose planned on getting blackout drunk at the woodcutter’s station, but her body had other thoughts.

 

 

_Who the fuck wants to die from exposure and hypothermia?_

 

 

And no matter how drunk you are, there is nothing to sober you up like a three mile trek in the freezing fucking cold.

 

 

As far as Emma was concerned she had her bottle of Johnny and other than figuring out where she was going to sleep, nothing else mattered.

 

 

Well for one, the Bug was definitely out. She no longer kept her emergency sleeper bag in the car, because well…when you think you’re finally safe.

 

 

_Fuck_.

 

 

She couldn’t call Mary Margaret or David. That would mean questions and inevitably it would mean Regina. That’s a complete ‘Fuck No’.

 

 

Henry would be…

 

 

No. She couldn’t deal with Henry right now. Just seeing her son, who was the damn near living embodiment of his other mother, would be too much. She had no functional capacity to handle anything like that.

 

 

She could call Ruby, but that would be exactly where SHE would think to look after her parents place. So once again a big ‘Fuck No’.

 

 

The cots in the station were usually her saving grace during any of their major fights; which means SHE was probably already waiting for her there. More like a ‘Hell to the Fuck No’.

 

 

Blue? No.

 

 

Leroy? No.

 

 

Belle?

 

 

They all seemed like they would lead to her parents or Reg..her.

 

 

She needed to go where none of them would even think to look for her. And she knew just where that would be.

 

 

She took another swig of Johnny and continued singin.

 

 

**Roxxxannnne you don’t need to wear that dress tonight**

  **Walk the streets for money,**

  **you don’t care if it’s wrong or if it’s right.**

 

 

 

 

 

**——————————-**

 

 

He heard three bangs on his door. Shocking him out of the sleep.

 

 

 

Not bothering to fully dress, he walked to his front door, hook at the ready in case this wasn’t a friendly call.

 

 

 

To his surprise there was Emma Swan, looking half frozen and half drunk off her ass.

 

 

 

“You’re way behind and we have much drinking to do” she said as she thrusted an empty bottle of what looked to be whisky into his chest and pushed her way past him into his home.

 

 

 

He followed her into his living room, where she had plopped down on his recliner.

 

 

“Hook you owe me and the least you could do is indulge me in your favorite past time” said Emma with a smirk.

 

 

“Aye Swan, it is a favorite past time of mine, but lass you do know your family has been asking after you.”All he got was a grunt and shrug in response.

 

 

 

“Hook just get the rum, yeah.”

 

 

 

Hook walked over to his counter and grabbed the two tin mugs sitting in the sink and his best bottle of rum and made his way over to the recliner and coffee table. He sat in the chair located to the left of the recliner and placed the two cups on the table, pouring a nice serving for each of them.

 

 

 

“Not that I don’t find any opportunity to drink, to be a moment well spent. I’m just surprised to find the resident Savior in my humble abode at such an ungodly hour,” responded Hook.

 

 

 

“Well since you’re are the catalyst for the shit-storm my life has just become, I say the least you can do if offer me a stiff drink.” Emma took a large swallow and allowed herself to feel the burn as it moved down her throat. Warming her from the inside and slowly dulling the pain that was once again building in her chest and head.

 

 

 

“Swan I think you should let someone know you’re ok. I hate for Charming to come here guns blazing thinking I’ve done something untoward to you.

 

 

 

“I’d rather not but knowing my father as I do, I’ll send a text while I still have the capacity to form coherent thoughts. Because I plan on losing that ability as quick as possible tonight” Emma said with a shrug.

 

 

She turned back on her phone and was bombarded with a number of incoming texts and missed calls. She had about about 7 missed calls and 21 unread texts.

 

 

Before checking any of them, she went to her settings and turned off her GPS. She had been teaching her son some of her tricks as a bounty hunter and she could assume that he had checked it several times, mostly without success since she had turned her phone off earlier in the day. Now that it was back on, it was the first thing she needed to turn off so she couldn’t be located.

 

 

She looked through the text messages she received from Ruby and Snow, each with the normal “ _where are you”, “call me”, “is everything ok”._ She was supposed to stop by the fair and have dinner later with her parents at Granny’s. There were a few from Henry that initially began with him sending pictures from the fair. They grew progressively more worried as she didn’t answer.

 

 

She purposely erased the ones sent by Regina without reading them.

 

 

She decided that David was the safer option and she couldn’t go without saying something to Henry. She was in pain, but she couldn’t make him worry just because she didn’t know how to handle everything right now.

 

 

 

She texted David:  **David need a break for a couple days. Take over station until I come back. Will call you.**

 

 

She then texted Henry:  **Sorry kid. Dealing with something, just need a couple days to clear my head. Luv u.**

 

 

Henry immediately texted back:  **Ma r you OK? Ur not coming back home tonight?**

 

 

Just reading that had a few tears slipping from Emma’s eyes . She replied:  **No kid. I just need a little time to think. Don’t worry. Look after ur mom.**

 

 

Henry answered:  **Ma where are you? You should come home.**

 

 

Emma was about to answer when something gave her pause. She looked at the text messaging and immediately knew it wasn’t Henry.

 

 

Another text came in.  **Ma please come home.**

 

 

Emma answered with the only thing she could:  **Regina?**

 

 

 

As soon as she sent it, another text came in.  **Emma I’m so sorry. Please come home.**

 

 

 

Emma instantly dropped the phone after she read the text. When she didn’t reply, the phone started ringing and she just stared at it.

 

 

 

Hook noticed Henry’s name on the display and looked at Emma expecting her to pick up.

 

 

 

“Swan you should probably pick up if the lad is calling you.”

 

 

 

“It’s not Henry”, she answered.

 

 

 

 

“Swan I don’t know what is going on, but would it not be better for me to give her Majesty a call?” Hook asked.

 

 

 

“No. That’s exactly what you won’t do. Do you hear me? I swear to fuck you will not tell anyone you saw me or that I’m here. You got it?”

 

 

 

Hook felt a tinge of guilt as he had been feeling since bringing Daniel back with him to Storeybrooke. He still remembered Emma’s face when she saw Regina and Daniel embrace. 

 

 

“Swan I know that last couple weeks have been a bit crazy, but I think…”

 

 

 

“She fucked him in our bed.”

 

 

 

Hook had no way to respond.

 

 

 

“So…can we just not talk anymore Killian? Please.” She looked him dead in his eye.

 

 

 

Hook recognized that look. It was the look of someone who was nearing the end of their rope but was fighting tooth and nail to control the beast inside. He had seen it in the eye of one other person; himself, after Milah died. You don’t forget the look of utter desolation like that.

 

 

 

“Aye Swan, let’s drink.”

 

 

 

He topped them both off and they sat back and drank in silence as the cellphone rang and rang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Roxanne by the Police


End file.
